my time is running short...

Many of you may know that I've spent that last month with my mom up in Washington (state, that is.) and many of you probably know that I'll be home this coming Wednesday. I have so many mixed emotions about the whole thing that it isn't even funny. I swear my brain has turned to mush quicker than a rotting banana. Since this is the case.. I'll give you some bulleted lists of why I'm happy AND sad about the fact that my time is running short.

Why I'm Excited (to go home):

• To see my husband! First and foremost it's to be with my husband. I have spent a whole month away from home and have gone 2 weeks without seeing him. I miss him like crazy and can't wait to be back home with him.
• To show my husband how much I've grown in the last month.. well, more along the lines of how much the little man has grown. I keep telling him I'm the size of a moose, maybe he'll believe me when he sees me.
• To have my husband get to see and talk to the little man, again. He's spent 3 weeks away from him, total, and it makes me so sad to think that he's missed out on a whole month of the pregnancy.
• To sleep in my own bed.. oh my goodness. If any of you have ever been pregnant and slept on someone else's bed, you know what I am talking about. It just isn't (ever!) as good as your own.
• To see my Kaydee girl. I miss my girl so much. I'm used to seeing her every single day and talking to her all the time. She ALWAYS gets one bite (sometimes more) off my plate of food - and NO I do not let her take it off my plate.. when I'm done eating, I save her a piece of grilled chicken or a steamed veggie or something of the sort and throw it in her bowl. Geesh. I miss giving her my food and giving her belly rubs.
• The sooner I get home, the quicker time will pass and the sooner this baby will come!
• My prenatal appointments.. I just love my OB and simply can't live without seeing her at least once a month. (going to be every two weeks, here, VERY soon! - *Happy Face*)
• Trips with my husband and friends. Whether it be weekend trips to the beach, day trips to the lake or afternoon trips to the farmer's market, I love every single trip that I get with my husband (and friends) and I can't wait to get back into that routine.

Why I'm Sad (to go home):

• I won't get to see my mom whenever I feel like it. I won't get to spend time with her and dave; looking at baby stuff, working on baby projects, playing the wii or just watching stupid infomercials as dave is yelling at the TV that we just "HAVE to buy this!"
• I won't get to spend every evening in the kitchen, with my mom, cooking dinner for everyone. If anyone knows me, at all, they KNOW that I LOVE to cook. I love to cook anything. Even if I don't like eating it, I'd still LOVE to cook it for you! The fact that I won't be able to do that anymore anytime soon, breaks my heart.
• I won't get to laugh at my mom with all the STUPID phrases she says (backwords, I might add) or all the weird little names that she comes up with to call things. - have to mention this one... last night we were watching a show on TV called "WILD Russia" and it was talking about all the animals that resided in russia, what they were, what they did, etc. This one animal came on the screen and it seriously looked like an antelope, however, my mom swore it had the nose of a camel.. so she proceeded to call it a "Camelope". Oh my gosh, it was so funny.
• I won't get to laugh at the REDICULOUS things that mom and dave do when they're in the heat of the moment. - Gross! Get your mind out of the gutter!! For example; yesterday my mom was cleaning this one condo (she's a housekeeper) and there was a bat outside the door (a bat as in, "I suck your blood!") well my mom called the front office for some "bat removal" and Dave came to the rescue (he's a maintenance worker at the same place). He showed up with a LONG pole with a suction cup on the end, a bucket and a long bath towel. To make a LONG (and funny!) story short.. he managed to REALLY piss the bat off, but got him, safely, out of the doorway and let him go in a field. (the pole was a pole that they use to change light bulps - the suction cup divise did NOT help, LOL)
• I won't get my mom's awesome head massages anymore. I have a headache just thinking about it.
• I won't get to take runs to the store just for stupid little things that we're looking for; ice cube trays, cross stitching patterns, etc.
• I won't get to show my mom my belly anymore before the baby is born. That's the one that hurts the most. I've truely enjoyed having my mom become part of this pregnancy and am going to go back home to her being far away, again. I don't like it and I'm not happy about it.

Thinking back, my mom and I have always been pretty close - well, up until I hit my teenage years and became just like her, then we tended to butt heads. However, we're now back to being close again now that I've grown up, some and realized that all the bickering and arguing just isn't worth it - Now that I've gotten pregnant and become a Mommy, I can't imagine my son not being able to see his Grammy. She's been such a HUGE part of my life and it just rips my heart out to think that he won't get to see her when he wants to. We won't get to take evening trips to Grammy and Popi's for dinner or have Grammy and Popi over for a BBQ or some sort of celebration. I am going to go out of my way, as far as I can, to tell Junior just how much his Grammy and Popi love him, but will it be enough? Honestly, how will he know if he doesn't even know who they are? Will he believe me? What if he doesn't believe me?

I just wish we were closer. I wish Grammy and Popi were close enough that we could decide, that afternoon, that we were going to head to their house for an afternoon playdate. That we could spend ALL of the holiday's together and that we could take trips together so they can experience and love their grandson like I get to experience and love him.

I want them to be able to tell him, themselves, that they love him and "see you tomorrow" without it being over the phone and distant.

As you can tell, I'm having some sort of emotional breakdown when it comes to this. It's all I've thought about lately and I just don't know how I'm supposed to fix it all.

How am I supposed to keep my family close when we're SOOOOO far apart?!

picture worth a thousand words

6 months along and got a BIG ol belly!

6 month letter to Junior is below!

six months and counting...

Dear my precious little bundle of energy,

You, my dear, simply take my breath away. I can't seem to fathom how the heck you've managed to creep into my life and how you've already been in my belly for six months.. yes, S.I.X! It still seems like last week we were doing the injections, hoping with all of our might, that you would stay in my belly, where you currently belong.

I can't seem to understand how you move around so much in there. I know, for a fact, that there isn't as much room as you seem to think there is. My belly is often stretched to current capacity and yet you seem to flip and flop, roll and twist, kick and punch, twirl and flail, as if you're floating around in an olympic sized swimming pool, with all the room in the world. How you do it?! I simply have no clue. One minute you're head butting my rib cage, the next minute you have a foot up as high as it can go, kicking away at the top of my uterus. The next minute you'll have your foot as low as it can go kicking way down deep in my cervix. All the while, you're laying sideways, then upside down, then right side up, then looking forward, then backward. I honestly don't know where you get your energy. Must be from Daddy. You make me tired just watching you.

I absolutely love feeling you moving around in my belly. I don't know how many times I've felt my stomach get pulled REALLY tight and when I feel at my belly, I can feel your head, your foot, or your whole back laying across my belly. Your favorite position seems to be sitting straight up, looking toward my spine, with your back pushed way out into my belly. I love the fact that you feel free enough to move about so much.

You seem to have a running schedule of your own, let me tell ya. You certainly have your own way of doing things and I have a feeling that once you make your appearance.. you're going to be a very busy little man. You're constantly on the go, already, and sometimes that makes Mommy worry. I have a feeling that you're going to be the type of little one who wants to experience EVERYTHING and only wants to do it when someone isn't looking. I can't wait to see you explore the world and enjoy each and every new milestone with you.

You have been such a blessing in our lives, in many more ways than one. Daddy and I never could have imagine how much we'd fall in love with you from day one and everyday that love seems to double.

On a side note, I'm sorry about that Dr. Pepper that Mommy drank... probably wasn't the best idea I've had, it made Mommy really jittery, too!

Daddy and I love you, my little man. More than anything in this world. Way past the moon and beyond the stars. Daddy isn't with us, right now, but will be again soon, but he does make sure to tell me that he loves you and misses you while we're gone. Pretty soon he'll be able to tell you, himself. I'm sure he can't wait for that.

Have fun in there, my little guy... Mommy loves going to sleep feeling you rock out to your own little beat only to wake up to the same exact thing. You, my son, simply rock!

With all of my everything,
Your Mommy.

to be continued...

I just wanted to remind everyone to check back tomorrow for our 6 MONTH post.. yes.. I said S.I.X MONTHS!!

I may just include some pictures, since you took the time to show up!

For Those With Experience

Senior and I have quite a few things left to get before we're "all ready for the baby" to make his debut. I was curious if I could steal a little advice from all of you about which products you liked, which ones you hated, ones you couldn't live without, etc. Please feel free to share all the advice you'd like. I'm all ears.

Q 1: What's one thing you really thought you'd need and use for your baby that you didn't use so much, afterall?

Could be toys, furniture, accessories, bottles, anything you could think of.

Q 2: What's one thing that you wished you had for your baby and didn't OR had to go out later and purchase, due to necessity or want?

Q 3: What's one thing you think is a "must have" for all parents with new littles ones, or new little boys?

Q 4: What's one thing (or more) that you used and found great use of but didn't necessarily find it a necessity?

Q 5: Do you have any good advice for a first time parent (of a new little boy) ?

Q 6: What's you're all time favorite baby item that you enjoyed using with your little ones?

Thanks for all your answers in advance.. I know you're all going to rock!

It's been a while...

There hasn't been much that has happened since the last time I've updated. (which could be the reason for me not updating.. :-D) But I figured I should, in case people are wondering what's been up on this side of the tracks.

I've spent the last 2 weeks up with my mom, spending some quality time with her, before the babies born. I'll be up here another 2 weeks, as well.

We've spent the last 2 weeks shopping for Mr. Bub. It's been so fun, in so many ways. However, I seem to be running out of spending money, so it's about time that I slow down. I swear this boy is going to have enough cloths for the rest of his life. If only he'd stay that small, forever.

I do happen to have a few questions to ask at my next appointment.

• Is it possible for my belly piercing to rip open? My belly has been pushed out so much, that my piercing (which, at one point, was at the edge of my belly button) is now a good inch and a half above my belly button and the skin of my piercing is so stretched that it's hard and red. I'd take a picture to show you, however, I don't know if you want to know THAT much about my body, lol. It seriously looks like it will tear open if my belly gets ANY bigger. It's gross, if you ask me.
• If I'm allowed to go with a vaginal delivery, at what point do we decide how far I'm going to go? We KNOW the exact day of conception, so we know that on November 18th I will be 40weeks.. so do we induce at that point, will I be allowed to go over or will I get induced earlier?
• If it comes to the point of scheduling a c-section, (due to the placenta previa), at what point do we schedule the c-section? Will I schedule for full term, early or late?
• At what point do we schedule our son's circumcision? Do we schedule it before he's born, or do we just let them know when I get there?

Ya see.. my mom really wants to be here for the birth and I really want her to be, as well, so I want to know with as much time as I can, so if she is still living up north, I want her to have plenty of time to be here and not miss it. (and because I'm nosy and want to know as much as humanly possibly, at this point)

I'm so confused.

How could I forget?!

When I went in for my OB appointment after my 20 ultrasound, Dr.K did tell me that not only is my placenta anterior, it's also very low lying. So low, in fact, that it's hard to tell, from ultrasound, whether or not it's covering my cervix. She's not worried about it, yet, as Mrs.Cervix still has time to move out of the way (and she says they often do..) but she wants to send me for another ultrasound in 8 weeks, at my 30 week mark. This will be to check to see if it's moved off my cervix, as planned. If it hasn't, we'll be scheduling a C-Section and won't be allowing me to go into labor, AT ALL. It will become an emergency situation at the point that I do go into labor and a emergency c-section will be performed. We're hoping that it doesn't get to that point, but we'll have to see.

Junior - 06/06/2009

Dear OUR Precious Little Baby Boy,

Today we got to meet you. You as in the REAL you. No longer will we assume that we know your gender, just from personal assumption. We KNOW!!!

You are a little boy, OUR little boy. I never coule have imagined what it would belike to be a Mommy, then you granted me that wish. You chose to stick around and stick it out, with us as your family. We're forever grateful. I never could have imagined what it would be like to have a son, then you granted me that wish. You became a boy and have grown into a wonderful little boy, inside the comfort of my belly. I am forever grateful!

So many things have changed since we found out that you are a boy, not only a boy, but you are a B-O-Y!! You are ALL boy and so freggin cute, at that. You have amazed us in so many ways and I can't wait to continue watching you grow strong and bless us with your presence.

I am amazed with all the things you've accomplished in such a short amount of time. You've grown from something the size of a poppy seed to OUR little boy, who's now almost a pound.

Your Daddy and I thoroughly enjoyed watching you on ultrasound, today. It was amazing, for me, to see you kick on the ultrasound screen and feel you kick, at the same time. It gave us just a glimpse at your life "on the inside". Daddy was very impressed with the ultrasound, this time. Over the last couple of visits, Daddy hasn't been able to see very much, as ultrasound images confuse him. This time, however, he was able to view a lot! He often shouted out what he thought he saw and 90% of the time, he was correct!

Your Daddy and I, both, were extremely amazed to find out that you were a boy... a B.O.Y! Everyone in our family, including myself, really believed that you were a girl. Not because we wanted you to be a girl, but because there have been SOOOOO many girls born in our family. You may not know this, yet, but your Uncle J, Mommies brother, was the only boy born in the family, in that generation. Then, Uncle J had a son, your cousin JJ, then Mommy got pregnant with you. Your grammy is VERY happy to have the ONLY boys in the family. She's a very special lady, that's for sure.

Well my little man, Mommy loves you more than you could ever imagine!! Up to the moon and way past the stars. I love you with everything I have!

Love,
Your Mommy.

PINK OR BLUE - THE RESULTS ARE IN!

If you can't tell by the new blog theme, (www.petalsofaflower.blogspot.com) we got our results today. We walked in to the ultrasound room and the first question, from the Ultrasound Tech was:

"Would you guys like to know the gender, if baby cooperates?"

"YES, please!! Feel free to shout it out when you know."

"Alright, let me scan baby's position, first, then we'll see if we can check the gender."

After about two minutes of scanning and telling us about our precious little one's position - face down, head near my left hip and feet down kicking at my cervix, Lovely - she started scanning for the "goods".

"Alright, it's right there, between the legs!"

J couldn't read an ultrasound if you paid him to, so he was absolutely LOST.

"What?! Where?! What is it?!"

"It's a BOY!"

"WHAT?! ARE YOU SURE?! I mean, like HOW sure?!" (J's response)

"I am positive. Little girls don't have those parts and it's OBVIOUS that this ISN'T a little girl."

We were so stoked that it wasn't funny. I don't know how many times J jumped up and down in the ultrasound room. I was grinning from ear to ear, litterally.

Here are a few pics from our ultrasound trip:

PINK or BLUE, Either will do!

First, I just have to say... Do you know how HARD it is to find a layout background, that's cute, that doesn't have pink or blue on it, or look too girly or boyish, in some way?! Jeepers! I spent the last couple hours scouring the net looking for ONE cute layout background that will last me till... tomorrow. (hopefully)

I'm hoping that once we have our ultrasound, tomorrow, we'll find out if we're having a little boy or a little girl, then we'll be able to insert a handsome little boy background or a pretty little girl theme. Until then, I wanted one that had NO preference, to show that I have no preference.

Tomorrow is THE BIG DAY, Thumper! Be nice to your Mommy and show us, would ya?! You'll get tons of cuter things if you do show the goods. Promise!

Today's a very busy day, as was yesterday and as will be, tomorrow.

We spent the day, yesterday, washing the car and truck (J did, not me, ha ha!). Then we ran down and watched a parade, in the next town over. It was quite hot outside (a good 95*F) so we decided instead of spending the day out in the heat and killing ourselves at the local park.. we would head back into town, get some lunch at our favorite brewery then head to the local farmers market to pick up our favorites. Whole Grain bread that weighs like 10 pounds (no kidding!), so fresh and sooooo yummy. Organic fresh picked Raspberries, YUM! A fresh made Baguette, just because I love them and my favorite, Organic Jam from THE BEST jam maker in the world.

Gabrio's Organic Jam is the best, ever. It's made by a local husband and wife who have FULL TIME jobs and create jam in their free time. It's simply the best jam I have ever had and I LOVE jam. (My favorite is Peanut Butter and Jam sandwhiches).

They're a small family with a WHOLE lot of love for Jam and boy do they make it well. They've made it for over 17 years, I believe, and every jar gets better.

I don't believe they ship (as it's just a part-time hobby, for the both of them), however, if you'd like to try some, I'd be happy to pick some up for you at the next Farmers Market and ship it to you. (providing that you pay for the jam and shipping, of course, :))

It really is worth the time and effort, it simply can't get any better.

After the farmer's market, we headed back home, finished installing the drip irrigation system for our tomatoes, then got a call from a friend who lives nearby. Her plans for the weekend got cancelled and wanted to know if we wanted to meet up for some drinks (for them and hubby, not me) and some fireworks. We agreed!

We would have met up for a BBQ before the drinks, however, we already had our dinner cooking on the BBQ and it was almost done. BBQ'd drumsticks, corn on the cob and some watermellon. It was delicious!!

Then we headed down for the evening. After a few beers (again, not me), chatting and catching up, we headed over for the fireworks. We had a GREAT view and a great time. Headed back to watch C light fireworks for the kids and roasted a few marshmellows on the fire. Then it was time to head home.

We made it home by about 11:45pm, but didn't get to bed until after 1:30am. We were EXHAUSTED!

Today, today is cleaning day. Preping, getting ready to spend a couple weeks out of town.

Speaking of.. I need to get going, ha ha! I need to start packing, I think.

I will post our ultrasound results as soon as possible, so check back for those, tomorrow. Until then, have a wonderful time and enjoy this wonderful Sunday.

5 Months!!!!!

Dear my precious little Thumper,

Once again it’s been another month. Another whole month that you’ve been in my belly. That makes it 5 whole months that we’ve been together. 5 whole months that we’ve been able to share the joys of learning more about each other. I have learned so much about you in this last month, alone, I can’t believe how active you are. This month you’ve started to kick, punch, roll and hiccup! Feeling your movements have been the best feeling that I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s still such an amazing thing to think that I actually have a baby, MY baby, growing in my belly. I can feel your kicks and movements and it makes my heart skip a beat. It’s so amazing to know that pretty soon, you will be here and we will be a family of three.

Where has the time gone?

I certainly hope that you’re as comfortable and happy in there, as I am out here. Well, actually, I hope you’re more comfortable than I am. I’ve been feeling GREAT this entire pregnancy, you’ve been a GREAT baby so far and I am sure you will continue. However, I have started to feel a little sore in some areas, although, things have still been wonderful.

Cravings this month would have to be the normal stuff, fast food, pretty much anything that I don’t have to cook myself. Aversion this month would have to be the same stuff as usual, no dessert, no sweets, etc. I’d rather just have a bunch of “real” food, mashed potatoes, chicken, veggies, etc.

Your Daddy has been very interested in you, this month. Not as if he hasn’t in the past, he has, very much, however, this month, it’s been tenfold. He’s always asking how you’re doing, if you’re moving, or he’ll give his famous rub of my belly every single time he walks by. He loves to kiss my belly and we spend 99% of our time talking about you. Wondering what you’re going to look like, wondering how good of a mommy I’ll be, wondering how we’re all going to adjust to being a family together, etc.

We love you so much and really can’t wait to meet you. We’re half way, now. Every day that passes is another day closer to us meeting you and seeing your face. Enjoy your time in there my precious little angel, it won’t be much longer till you’re out here with us, your Mommy and Daddy. We promise to do whatever we can to make you happy, while you’re in there AND when you come out.

Grow big and strong, my little one, we can’t wait to see you, on ultrasound, in a few days. Hopefully this will be the last letter that we won’t know what gender you are. Only you can make that happen for us, would you? I’m praying that you’ll let us know.

I love you with everything I have!

Love,
Your Mommy.