Friday, August 28, 2009

Doula In Training..

Big J and I have tiptoed around the idea of having a doula attend our birth. Big J is kind of unsure about the idea as he has full faith in our OB and in me. Me, on the other hand.. I am worried that I won't know what to do during labor and I think having a doula there to support and guide me through it, would be more than I could ask for. I don't have nearly as much confidence in myself, as Big J does. Now, don't get me wrong. I am one of those people who will go out and do something crazy just because someone thought or said that I couldn't. I'm all about proving people wrong, but I'm really worried that I won't know how to deal with the contractions and I'm going to give in and accept interventions before giving myself a chance to deal with and handle the contractions.

Since Big J isn't "all for" this doula idea, I highly doubt he'd let me shell out any money for one. He seems to think that our insurance may cover it. Yeah, um, not! So I was on a mission. (Yes, another one!) I was/am on a mission to find a Doula in training. One that needs to attend a birth before being able to be certified and one who's willing to donate their services for free, since they're not certified. Kind of like a "you help me, I'll help you" type of situation. Maybe, then, Big J will be more for the idea.

I posted about 5 ads on different sites around the internet with members and groups in my area. I requested that someone contact me if they fit our profile of what we're looking for. I got a response by a few women and am so very thankful for each and every one of them.

First response was a new friend, over at Rants In My Pants with many options to my delimma. First she suggested that I post an ad on Craislist. After all, she's a doula and that's how she finds some of her clients. Secondly she suggested I contact someone at Birthingway College of Midwifery as she would know if anyone was looking for possibly clients. Third, she suggested that I check the D.O.N.A website and check the possible doula's in my area. Lastly, she kindly offered to post on a couple different groups that she was on and see if anyone was able to offer a lending hand. Thanks so much, Endre, that means a ton!

Second response was from a lady who is a practicing doula. She's taken all required classes and read all required materials. The ONLY reason she's not certified is because she had a baby in the middle of her certification and it made it a little difficult to attend the required amount of births to become certified. She's currently working, now, to finish her certification.

Third response was from a lady who is getting ready to take all the classes in October. A little too close for comfort as she won't be very far into it when I go into labor but I am so very thankful for her offer and very appreciative for her response.

We're currently trying to plan a meeting with "response number 2" sometime soon. I'm sure Big J will want to know more as to what they do, what their purpose is and get to know her more, as well as I, but I am excited overall to meet her and see if we're a match for each other. Hopefully things will work out and we'll have a doula set to go to help me when the time comes.

Wish us luck!


  1. Stephanie -

    Not that this helps the immediate problem of finding a free service, but you might want to consider renting "The business of being born" to watch with your husband. It would give more of a sense of what a doula does (though it may go *too far* for what you want as the point is NOT to gt away from your OB). I found it very interesting.

    All that said - the nurses and doctors at the hospital are really great and I'm sure you will be fine without a doula if you go that route. You take the classes, but then the people there help you with what to do and your body knows a lot of what it's supposed to do (spoken like a woman who had to be induced and then had an epidural, so I have no real experience to back this one up!).

    Good luck! and good for you for exploring all your options!

  2. I also have a resource to recommend...

    I purchased the book, "The Birth Partner" and would highly recommend it. It's written for a doula and or your birth partner (in this case mine will be the Robot).

    we're about a quarter of the way into it and it does a great job of explaining the "mechanics" of birth, what the partner can expect, how to help you, lots of good questions to get him/her thinking about different scenarios, etc.

    I second the Business of Being born and I also recommend the book they wrote, "Your Best Birth." It's a little LEFT in it's views -- the ladies are pretty strongly minded towards no hospitals, no interventions, home births with midwives but you can extrapolate out what you find applies to you and can get you thinking more about what you want from your birth overall.

    Good luck!


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